Hello, and welcome to ‘Fully Figuring it Out’ – a place where I share as I figure out how to fully love my life as a fat woman. 

My name is Ashleigh, I am currently 36 years old, and I am fat. I have always been fat. Well, I have always seen myself as fat, although at times I have been in a much smaller body. We’ll be getting into a LOT about bodies and our obsession with their sizes later, but this is just an intro. 

I am married to a wonderful man who infuriates me and brings me much joy. We live in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and we have a son together. He was born in July of 2019, so he’s almost two and I’m almost ready to return him to the factory. Yet another thing I really need to figure out. 

My husband Jesse, my son and myself.
My husband Jesse, my son, and myself at my sons 1 year birthday party!

I decided to start this site because I felt like I didn’t see a lot of people like me on the internet. There are a lot of Body Positivity accounts (like, REALLY great ones, I’ll share some info at the bottom), and there are a lot of Parenting accounts (again, some really great ones, again, shared at the bottom) but I didn’t really see a lot of accounts celebrating fat motherhood. Life is hard. Motherhood is hard. Living in a world that discriminates based on body size is hard. All of those things mixed together are REALLY hard. And I know I am not alone in navigating these things. So I thought I’d take a chance and just start sharing my journey and experiences. 

I am in no way an expert on anything I’ll be talking about – so please don’t take anything I say on this site as ‘gospel truth’ (come to think of it, maybe don’t take the gospel as gospel truth either), but I promise to always keep it real. I will tell it like it is, share my low points, share photos highlighting all of my chins, and all of my thigh dimples. Oh, and I’m going to swear. A lot. A fucking lot. 

I can tell you what I am an expert in! I have an undergraduate degree from the University of Lethbridge with a double Major in Psychology and Sociology, and a Masters Degree from Queens’ University Belfast in Sociology of Religion. I am currently employed as a Business Analyst (don’t worry, I don’t know what it is either). I have been a BA for over 8 years now, but in past lives I have been an IT Recruiter, a Barista, a Nanny, and a preschool teacher. 

I was born and raised in a Christian (Pentecostal to be exact) family, and was raised believing most of the standard evangelical Christian junk that most evangelical Christian kids are raised believing. Throughout my adulthood I have gone through various phases of trying to make sense of what from that upbringing I want to hold onto and what I need to leave behind. I’ve gone through apologetics, and deconstruction, and now I am done justifying, but not done searching. I still count myself as a Christian, and go to a lovely church here in town, but my beliefs are so far from what I grew up with that my family worry about me. Which I find encouraging. 

I’ll say right here and now that Black Lives Matter, and blue lives aren’t a thing. LGBTQ+ Rights are Human Rights. I’m a loud and proud (and angry) feminist. And believing in science isn’t political. If we can agree on these fundamental truths, then you are a friend to me. Hopefully you find something here that you like! 

Ashleigh

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P.S. A note about photos on this site – My husband and I have decided not to share our son’s face on social media, so while I’ll be sharing some very unflattering photos of myself, his face will always be blurred out. I can assure you, he’s very cute under there. 

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