Fat Girl Summer

I think most of us have recently survived one of the hottest weeks we have ever experienced. That stupid heat dome that covered the entire western half of North America gave us all daily highs 10 – 20 degrees higher than our normal June highs. Even with typical temperatures, summer can be a bitch for anyone in a larger body.  

I have a theory that this discomfort is universal for most women. There’s a reason we have a reputation for loving the fall, and it’s not just Pumpkin Spice Lattes. We’re not (just?) basic bitches – we’re glad to be back in our skin covering clothes. Jeans and boots and bulky sweaters – this is our comfort zone, it’s where we live, it’s where we thrive. 

Whenever summer rolls around my Body Positivity feed is completely overwhelmed with influencers telling me to “wear the damn shorts!” and “wear the damn suit!” – which is great. For years, I would NOT wear the damn shorts because I was embarrassed of my fat legs, my chubby knees and my varicose veins. So having influencers represent my body composition on social media IS powerful and liberating. I LOVE seeing some larger ladies in bikinis and short shorts living their best lives! It makes me believe that I too can be a beautiful water goddess when the heat strikes.

However, my body image isn’t the only thing stopping me from dressing down. There are some real barriers to my comfort in this weather, and they aren’t all just about feeling self conscious in shorts. So, much like most ‘BoPo Inspo’ – the message of trying to “love yourself” out of very real disadvantages falls short. (I might have to do a post about Body Positivity vs. Fat Acceptance or Fat Liberation one day soon).

Issue #1: Sweat.

SO MUCH SWEAT. Am I the only one who is just trying to live my life in a tank top and I have sweat marks under my boobs, trickling down my back, soaking my underwear. What in the actual hell is happening? I know biologically that sweat is a mechanism to cool our bodies – but does anyone actually feel better when they sweat that much? And nobody wants to take their kid out for a walk, or for a trip to the playground with obvious, large splotches of moisture all over their body. This really is a human problem – not a fat person problem – but it is exacerbated by my body shape. I have more rolly and foldy bits for the sweat and clothing to pool in. My underboob sweat doesn’t trickle down my torso – it pools on top of my belly – so that when I stand up I have these GIANT under boob footballs of sweat on my shirts.

Excellent suggestions from cartoonist Emily Flake 

The other day I was wearing a sports bra (participating in exactly 0 sports) and I could have wrung it out when I took it off.  In an effort to minimize the appearance of my sweat pools, I wear black. Black clothes, a fat girls best friend. Dear old black will hide all sorts of sins. But in the cruelest act of betrayal – black heats up MORE in the sun, and amplifies the original issue. How dare she?

Issue #2: Chafing.

I think we all know that as much as we may feel ‘liberated’ to wear shorts – if your thighs touch (aka, you are 90% of people) there is going to be a chafing issue. Remember when Thigh Gap was the trend? I REALLY thought most thin women actually had a reasonable chance of accomplishing that – and that those women must live blissful chafe-free lives. Turns out that’s not reality. Most thighs touch. And when it’s hot, and you’re wearing shorts (or even just bottoms made of the wrong material, or in the wrong fit) there is going to be some real chafing and it’s going to HURT. Enjoy your half day of activity – you’ll be paying for it for the following week. Anyone else ever made the mistake of wearing a dress or shorts out for a full day activity, or heaven forbid an entire hot vacation, and having to pull fabric between your thighs or walk like John Wayne just to get out of there? Just me… cool. Well it sucks. 

What’s the answer?

What’s a girl to do when the odds are this stacked against her? In all honesty – I don’t know. I can share what has worked for me, and you can adopt what feels right for you – or you can call bullshit on this whole thing – I don’t fucking care.  What works for me is truly strategic fabric placement. Is sweat gonna pool? Don’t put fabric there. Is chafing going to occur? Put fabric there. 

Although my strategic fabric placement may feel like an oversimplification, it really is possible. I have been wearing sports bras with no shirt for most of this summer. Both in my house and out in public. In the past I would have been worried or embarrassed about having my pasty white belly hanging out for all to see. But I have legitimately run out of shits to give.

I finally got to a place where I realized that fatphobic people won’t like me regardless of what I wear. I’ve spent years trying to take up less space and hide the biggest parts of me. I believed if I played by their rules they’d forgive my fatness. But I don’t need their forgiveness. My existence isn’t an offence. They can see that I am fat with or without a shirt on – so if I’m more comfortable without my shirt on – I’m gonna take it off. If one day I find cute summer tops with breathable mesh panels, or cute crochet tanks – I might put my shirt back on. But I’m not waiting for them. 

Another way to ‘strategically place fabric’ is to try these bamboo bra liners. I can’t give a review yet, because I just ordered mine – but I’ll let you know as soon as I get them. They also sell through Amazon – if that’s your jam. I’ve just discovered them, but this More of me to Love company looks dope – they make accessories that make existing in your changing and/or bigger body easier – including bra extenders, tummy sweat liners, seat belt extenders, etc. 

But what about chafing? The answer is fitted clothing that won’t ride up. Think bike shorts and capri leggings. If bike shorts aren’t your jam (but like, they really should be), then the takeaway here is to get something fitted. Anything loose WILL ride up. And anything that rides up WILL allow your thighs to touch. Once your thighs can touch chafing will commence. So maybe some shorts with a longer inseam and a narrower leg (Old Navy is great for sorting their shorts by inseam length).

An ode to Bike Shorts:

I just think we all need to really appreciate bike shorts for a minute. They are the unsung heroes of this summer. Somehow, last year they came into fashion and now we all get to reap the benefits of this trend. They are literally leggings (we all already live in leggings) – but SHORTS. No chafing. No riding up. They can be worn under dresses or on their own. They come in all sorts of cute colours and patterns (but I only own black) and they come in all sorts of materials. My faves are super soft ones made out of jersey, but I also love a good athletic pair from somewhere like Old Navy or Lulu. 

ALSO, chafing has come more into the mainstream conversation – and there are some decent anti-chafe products on the market. Topical lotions or bars that you apply to your chafe-prone areas before heading out and they provide some protection. If you want to wear a cute sundress or some looser shorts, these will certainly improve things for you. I’ve even had friends who benefitted from applying a normal dry/solid antiperspirant to the area. 

Another great summer option that I can’t get enough of is a romper. I always thought rompers were not for fat girls. You can’t ‘hide’ anything with a romper – and as a fat girl I had been trained my whole life to only wear clothes that helped me hide things. Tummy Control things and minimizer things. Shirts that give the “illusion” of a flat stomach. Rompers will not do ANY of that. But it will still be super cute. I promise.

Companies like Smash+Tess make adorable rompers in up to 3XL, and they’re Canadian. But if you can’t afford their price point (I can’t) then JoeFresh has some cute ones too for usually ~$40. The best part of a romper is that they are usually flowy enough to allow a breeze, but fitted enough to prevent chafing. Especially if you get a mid-calf length one. And you don’t have to worry about putting an outfit together. 

The real lesson here is this: Don’t wait for permission from the fashion industry or your haters* to be comfortable. Be comfortable now. Find what works for you and wear the shit out of it. And not because you are bold, or because you believe you are beautiful – but because it shouldn’t fucking matter. Even if you were hideous (which you aren’t), you’re allowed to be comfortable in the summer. 

Now go, get less dressed, and enjoy your summer!

Ashleigh

*in this instance ‘haters’ includes any judgemental presence in your life – if it’s your mom, your sister in law, your inner voice – Fuck all those haters!